Definify.com

Definition 2024

can't_live_with_them,_can't_live_without_them

can't live with them, can't live without them

English

Alternative forms

Proverb

can't live with them, can't live without them

There is often a hopeless, ongoing conflict between annoyance (with someone or something) and need (for that same person or thing).
- 1996 July 7, A. J. Benza, "Is Sly using his muscle to stop tell-all?," New York Daily News (retrieved 13 Aug 2015):
  You've got to find the woman that works for you. Because, after all, we can't live with them, can't live without them.
- 1999 July 25, Cayte Williams, "Why won't my !@*!!@ machine work?," Independent (UK) (retrieved 13 Aug 2015):
  Can't live with them, can't live without them. Like tweezers, pagers and passport control, computers are essential for modern living. They're marvellous (the erotic e-mail is the new love letter) and totally rubbish (it takes three hours to turn the printer on).
- 2010 Oct. 16, Nick McGrath, "Lulu: The singer talks about her family," Guardian (UK) (retrieved 13 Aug 2015):
  My parents' relationship was very much, "can't live with them, can't live without them". They were a crazy old couple and it was one of those love/hate things.
- 2012 June 7, Carrie Donovan, "Going Out Guide for the District of Columbia, June 7-13," Washington Post (retrieved 13 Aug 2015):
  “Men, Can’t Live With Them, Can’t Live Without Them.” Actor Cam Magee and singer Beverly Cosham explore the age-old theme in sonnets and speeches by Shakespeare and songs by Johnny Mercer and Cole Porter.

Usage notes

Frequently used to express a mixture of humor and regret regarding the imperfect, often inconsistent relationship between marital or romantic partners.
Many minor variant forms of expression are possible, as in:

2009 March 12, Clyde Haberman, "The Rich: Can’t Live With Them, Can’t Live Without Them," New York Times (retrieved 13 Aug 2015):

[T]hat’s the problem most of us have with the very rich. You can’t live with ’em, but you can’t live without ’em.